Do you want to move forward a few steps? Do you want to find calm, clarity and happiness?
The stigma attached to mental health & meds sucks...
I don't really get the stigma.. There IS evidence to prove it's a Chemical Imbalance so wtf! - There is NO shame in taking medication to balance your mood - We are all wired differently and some of us need a little tweak... Am I right???
When I was first offered meds I was mortified, no fucking way Pedro! That would make me a failure, Yes?...
If you really do think 'yes' then 'You can fuck right off' haha.. This post ain't for you!
No-one is a failure, hard times happen for a zillion reasons and if our minds aren't in a good place then things can seem impossible.. Don't judge what you don't know, better still, don't judge!
- Low Mood allll of the time
I knew it wasn't fair on my hubby, poor bloke never knew what he was going to walk into, *happy - *sad - *crazed - *psycho or all in sequence, Boom
My kids suffered too, it can't of been nice for them to see. The guilt I felt for them was like a constant niggle, chipping away at my soul. I tried so hard to keep it together for all my family...I failed...
*The noise of them walking on the wooden floor would put me on edge and tense! why?
*The Mom mom mom mom mom momming arghhhhhhhh!
*kids talking over the hubby, the hubby talking over the kids.. FFS seriously!
*My head was spinning... On top of work, house and debt, none of it went down very well...
Taking prescription drugs
So I gave in, but I couldn't get out of my head that I had taken an easy option, they made me feel sick, I didn't have time to feel sick so after a few weeks I stopped taking them. Wasn't sure if they did anything anyway as I still felt like shite!
I was looking for a quick fix and they weren't it.. Although I realise now I hadn't taken them for nearly long enough...
Months turned into years and I just could not stable my extremely erratic behaviour and my emotions going up and down, down, down in the deep blue sea!!!
Other illnesses took over, tests were done and Adrenal fatigue was diagnosed. My body didn't release my happy hormone, I went on steroids to give my kidneys a break and to see if it would begin to release properly once it had restored. It didn't.
So the professionals recommended I try again with the meds! I went home and apologised to my family for being such a fucked up unstable mess but knew enough was enough, my kids and hubba had been through way too much of my irrational behaviour.
This time I tried a different type of medication and a few weeks in my hubba remarked that my crying had slowed down, a little!
Along with not randomly fucking his eyes out, for not give me a kiss at the right time or him saying hello to the dog before me (wtf haha), or when he'd change something from my routine (I know, how very dare he!), making me a drink 5 mins earlier than normal!
Whats normal anyway?
In the months that passed, I began to practise mindfulness and slowly started feeling calmer, saner and happier.
I admit it's been tough sticking to it, too tired, too much pain, too much effort blah blah... But I 100% believe that these two treatments (medication+mindfulness) have encouraged me to want more from life. These treatments have put I little spark inside my body to want to achieve my dreams.
I have NEEEVVVVER felt this way...
STOP THE STIGMA = Some of us need them Thanx
I will say though if there comes a time that I can comfortably buy an abundance of Essential oils, then this would be amazing, and that's the route I would be very interested in venturing into...
So meds and mindfulness for me, are what have helped me get to the point I'm at now which feels amazing.
I get frustrated at not going at the pace I want to be going at times. Then I remember where I was before and 'let it go'... Having cfs/me slows me down ALOT, Mental illness takes time to reason with but I am in a way more positive mindset now.
Life is not going to fix itself
You can control this shit... This shit is your life...Your life truly is in your control...
Again please know, I am on my own healing journey and here to share insight to those on a similar path.
If you have any Q don't be shy and anxious, just ask. Tell me, how do you manage stigma?
Do it for you Gals+Guys..
Love Jorja x