Ready to identify what 'your' life values are?
Not your achievements, but how you want to be as a person, in your soul!
Your values are 'your' hearts true aspiration.
Have you ever really put any thought into it?
I hadn't! Until the day I was asked by my psycho lady what my life values were! Turns out after a few weeks I eventually picked 6, it was tough!
What's life all about?
I grew up thinking in a very blinkered direction, I'm not sure what happened! I thought life was to blag through the years at school, playing the teachers up on the way, get married, buy a house, have kids, live a hunky dory no worries life until you died! Well, how wrong was I!
After stumbling through the 15ish years after school I had some very sudden, sharp, incredibly intense life lessons, the usual;
Debt, family fall-outs, kids, ectopic, another kid, work, operations, grief, diagnosed with Cfs/me and depression just to name a few.
Not prepared for life! Real life...
I crumbled a few years after my dad's suicide, not really sure what happened the years in-between, but from out of nowhere physically and mentally I broke, just couldn't do it anymore I wanted out! No-longer saw a point in my existence, I had jack shit to offer, anyone, except pain, tears and anguish!
My days were mainly spent in bed crying, sleeping or stressing around beyond recognition, angry and sad. My poor husband and kids wouldn't know from minute to minute which 'me' they were going to get in response to any of their actions, it varied erratically!
Along with pain 24/7(no exaggeration) from Cfs/me (karma came and got me there!), I was unable to function daily, my soul was broken, I wanted to sleep forever. (but that's a whole different post).
Kill your sadness, Not yourself...
This was the complete opposite of how I thought my life was going to be, I couldn't figure it out, except there was no way I was leaving my husband and kids yet. So I delayed my plans of sleeping forever, and I carried on with my counselling, hospital apts, therapy blah blah.
I decided to put in some real effort on how to manage my emotions, depression, pain levels and also how to understand my body and be able to cope with life better in general.
No quick fix
Now I realise I was always looking for quick fixes for my issues. There are none! Putting your issues into boxes and putting them into a 'not to be seen again place' doesn't really work unless you do the background work too.
Lots of self-love and understanding is a good start.
You need to be truly honest with yourself it takes time for results to show but well, 'Rome wasn't built in a day' now was it...
This is your only life, live it happy...
Bloody fab decision me finx...
When my pshyco lady asked me what my values were, I was stumped! No words what so ever came to my mind, I think she felt the tension in me rise, so from that she started to teach me how to really tune into my body.
At first and for probs a few months I felt ridiculous, thought it was all a total waste of energy that I could have used being with my family, but also knew I had got to a point that I needed to do something I wasn't comfortable with, and as what I had been doing obviously wasn't working, I went for it.
I went away with a list of values along with meanings for homework.
Click Values list examples Pdf
I've put together a list below to try and show you how easy it actually is...
Once you have looked at the list write down your chosen top 10 -
Then choose 6, these will be 'your' values.
You can reinvent yourself at any point in your life and these 6 words will change the way you make decisions.
Go on give it a go, you may be surprised at the values you switch when you can only pick so many!
I now know my life values are...
Family - Trust - Honesty - Freedom - Compassion & Mindfulness.
By implementing these into my everyday ways and decision making etc, now feel this is the most 'me' I've ever, ever, ever been.
Even with the mixture of mental illness, Cfs/me & a personality that comes in outbursts of crazy, still working on that one! hehe.
Small steps to recovery
I obviously still have the above issues, but my outlook on life has taken a complete switch around! And I must admit that the experience of learning how to be mindful has been 'the' most uplifting part of my ongoing therapy in so many ways.
If you've read this far I would like to say 'Thank you' for reading. I've loved putting this post together, I hope you've understood it haha.. If you take anything from this post please let it be that 'You' can do this...
Have Yourself a lovely day. Be mindful...]
Till next time, Jorja x
P.s. If you spit when you shout at your kids etc you need to chill, start using simple steps to train your brain how to be calmer, it works in all kinds of situations. If you have a blip that's ok, just be mindful and start again.
This book is what helped me to understand the technique of becoming mindful, I genuinely believe this played a massive part in me now having a more positive mindset.