Hows 'Your' Mental health at the moment? Am I ok to presume 'not so great'?
Mine sucked pretty bad too a while back, & I'm afraid needs to be managed still. Every day I battle through depression and anxiety symptoms and guess what?
It actually is possible to gain perspective & embrace living with these constant streams of emotion and fear...
Living with depression & anxiety
...Find here effective tips for how to handle living with depression and anxiety.
Your mind is unwell and needs 'Your' attention.
Not being one to brag but, I live with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social anxiety & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), this has been for a few years now.
&…then there’s the Depression, which probably like you I hate/d being labelled with!
I was like…
…Depressed! Who me? How have you come to this conclusion then?
Yes, I cry on and off alllll day, but I’m an emotional person!
So what I don’t go out… I have enough to do in my home, where exactly do you want me to go?!
“But you get so frustrated at your kids”, Yes, because they are annoying little fuckers?!
“Do you ever get dressed?” – Well, no, but only cuz it will make more laundry?!
“Why don’t you let your husband go out though”– I do, he goes to work! You mean Socially? No fucking chance, then he’ll realise what a freak I am and leave?!
Having these years of living in 'Self-destruct mode' with my own issues, health & life, I feel its time for me to share these simple noteworthy techniques that have benefited my life so ridiculously, & still do use these techniques daily to manage the whole depression & anxiety thing.
Learn how to love yourself first!
Sounds patronising, doesn't it?
Well, that was my feeling to being told this, as well as cringing from my gremlin voice telling me I was a worthless piece of shit!
Resonate at all?
Being so tied up with endless negative in-mind chatter & obsessive thoughts is incredibly difficult, debilitating & life changing.
I didn't get what was truly meant by professionals advising me to;
Feelings of anxiety
I know our experiences will be different but I do get how scared you are feeling right now!
Your life is probably being taken over by rising anxiety levels which interfere crazily with your day-to-day life too?!
Personally, I didn’t realise that the sensations running through my body were anything other than being a nervous wreck, as that’s how everyone had always labelled it, so I thought of that as a throw-away comment & nothing to be acted on.
Symptoms of Anxiety
Sudden urge to pee
Unable to catch your breath
Tingling arms & legs
Restless leg syndrome
There is no way you can rush long-term recovery, sorry, I was pissed to hear that too… It’s not as simple as thinking it and it being an instant fix, it’s a lifestyle change, learning to dedicate time to yourself and feeling your body make the transformation bit-by-bit.
In my situ cheeky humour helps a lot! I'm not actually proud, joking helps me to accept & deal with these shitty disorders/syndromes & whatever else they are classed as. Which brings me to want to pass on tips to help ‘You’.
Please remember to share & help people find their people. Thank You x
Signs of depression
List taken from mind
- Down, upset or tearful
- Restless, agitated or irritable
- Guilty, worthless and down on yourself
- Empty and numb
- Isolated and unable to relate to Other people
- Finding no pleasure in life or things you usually enjoy
- A sense of unreality
- No self-confidence or self-esteem
- Hopeless and despairing
Okay Okay, as I admitted the list all sounded pretty familiar. Finally, I agreed (well, I went along with what they were all saying).
I was depressed!
Treatment for depression & anxiety
Going to CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) & ultimately getting me onto practicing mindfulness is how i have managed to understand exactly what/how I'm feeling (I thought I already knew!).
Mindfulness! I know!
Don’t be downhearted it genuinely works. Although to begin with, Mindfulness increases the level of overthinking (it sure did with me anyway!) but stick with it & I know it could become a saviour for ‘you’!
From this I found my determination and I now know I am worthy.
Sounds so simple & pointless doesn’t it?!
It’s really not..
Constantly feeling pre-occupied by the thoughts of saying something wrong, being boring, irritating &/or just generally pissing people off.
Steps to feel less anxious
You can use your anxiety as a base to start getting to know who 'You' are. Like, rediscover yourself.
These steps are to be done consistently, build it into your day & actually spend time with 'Your' anxieties.
Things worth doing take time. This is worth doing.
...You are in control...
*Make a plan / Write it down / Map it out / Figure out the steps
*Find out what your triggers are & write them down.
*How can these be changed?
Download the dumper bundle further down. It will help you to keep things simple as you work through your thoughts, anxieties and emotions.
Learn to become less self-concious
When many emotions arise together, we get so overwhelmed and anxious we don’t know our arse from our elbow, right?
Focusing your energy on changing these things and learning how to become less *self-conscious, can also make a massive difference.
Keep it as a thing just for 'You' to work on 'You', then there's no outside pressure and the results that come will have you wanting more of this self-help stuff.
Really put these steps into action, the more consistent you are the deeper the result seems.
Now go start kick depression & anxiety’s ass. Click the link...
What about a-bit of help controlling anger? Do you get angry at the stupidest of shit?
You know that it’s stupid but you always seem to end up raging & going way overboard?
Anger can be part of depression, & not a pleasant part my husband & kids would inform me, I would get extremely irritable for a variety of reasons.
Feelings of anger
Over-whelmed, out of control, ashamed, guilty & confused seemed to be my permanent state a few years back. My mind would momentarily go into a space that was pure rage and blankness at the same time. I knew what I was doing but was so pumped that anyone in line was going to have a piece of how I felt in that moment of;
Shutting my finger in the door, dropping things, burning food. The kid' phones pinging with alerts, irritating each other, whining, banging, fighting. Husband wanting my undivided attention but I was listening out in-case I got called upon to be referee for who’s turn it is to choose the next WHATEVER blah blah blah.
This stuff sent me nuts!
NO, it didn't;
Work made me nuts
My illness made me nuts
Dads suicide made me nuts
Being in debt made me nuts
The bullshit of life made me nuts
I dealt with none of the above & kept fighting on! If you (like I did) are thinking that you are justified in screaming at your kids, husband or who-ever because of pretty minor reasons then you, my cherub are possibly in denial and not facing the true cause of your anger either arghhhh.
Why am I angry?
Do ‘You’ stop and think about the REAL reason you get angry?
Lists taken from psychguides.com
- Heart palpitations or tightening of the chest
- Increased blood pressure
- Pressure in the head or sinus cavities
Types of anger
- Chronic anger, which is prolonged, can impact the immune system and be the cause of other mental disorders
- Passive anger, which doesn’t always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify
- Overwhelmed anger, which is caused by life demands that are too much for an individual to cope with
- Self-inflicted anger, which is directed toward the self and may be caused by feelings of guilt
- Judgmental anger, which is directed toward others and may come with feelings of resentment
- Volatile anger, which involves sometimes-spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger
If you are afraid that your symptoms are out of control, go get the help that is available.
Yes, there may be waiting lists etc, but start anyway. Use the resourses & know that you can and will improve in time.
Remember, you don’t even really need to tell anyone.
This is you accepting enough is enough & that only 'You' can fix you.
To do this though it truly benefits from having correct effective information from those that are there to help & not to judge, seek out 'Your' people... Hi...
The cycle of depression & anxiety is so tough to break, you may have found other ways of dealing with them in ways that aren’t as noticeable, like turning your anger in-wards.
This is extremely *Self-destructive and truly not justified.
Remember, *Depression tells you lies, mixes you up, makes you feel unworthy & punishes you from every accessible angle!
Fight back from now & find who ‘You’ are again.
Where does anger come from;
…Out of your control &/or Other peoples shit!
Ultimately, over time I began to accept that my own behaviour was;
*Unfair *Unforgiving *Unwarranted
Learning ways that control depression and anxiety becomes part of who you are, push it towards something positive, something that motivates you to create change & move on.
Ways to release anger =
Doing these types of things & having a few quotes around you can have a massive effect on your mood. Obviously, they need to be uplifting, inspirational stuff else that would be pointless wouldn’t it ha.
Even if you think this is all a load of shite, just suck it up & give it a real go & begin work from within.
I have made it super simple for you to begin today, by putting together the very first steps in helping you achieve results. Controlling anger is totally possible if you identify early what the actual problem is.
In the ‘Abolishing Anger Guide’ you will be provided with printouts to guide you through finding out the true source of your anger for you to move forward.
Time to Transform ‘Your’ mood.
Sign up for the guide, it breaks down how to figure out exactly why you are angry and how to acknowledge and accept where your anger is REALLY coming from.
No more letting anger control you, it’s damaging to you as-well-as those around you.
Gain some perspective and have confidence in 'Yourself'.
Feel free (anyone) to email if you don't do comments (I get ya).. Jorja@RuralGreyStar.com
Try to always have in mind that;
'You decide how to react' ..
This quote helped me to remember I wanted/had to change.
Do you find yourself trying to take on way more than your mind and body can handle, literally? & for what?
For me, it was to justify my existence!
Learn to Know Your Worth! It's possible, even with Depression & anxiety.
What is Self-worth?
Self-worth is; ‘Believing that you are loved and valued’ - ‘How you value yourself’ - ‘Your value to others’
This branches off from separately from;
Self-esteem which is; ‘How you judge your qualities’ - ’Your impression of yourself’ - ‘Accepting of who you are’
Anything with the word self in just makes me cringe, but with depression & anxiety to manage I’ve had no choice but to face it.
Looking into low Self-worth and reading the symptoms I fit them all, but to me, it was justified!
Useless = Yep, I can’t do anything or go anywhere
Worthless = Yep, I have nothing to offer
Low mood =Yep, they say I’m depressed
Self-critical = Yep, who isn’t
So how do you work with that?!
Well, a heck of a lot of ‘letting go’ is how!
Low self-esteem can affect our thoughts, behaviours & feelings, which then knocks onto our self-worth and makes us feel like a spare part and a burden to anyone, & everyone.
So we try to make up for this by;
Tried to be ‘normal’ (Whatever that is) as I felt I needed to justify my existence. *More and more got stacked on my to-do list, *I smiled, *Double booked appointments (because I didn’t want to take up the receptionists time in having to find another appointment!)
*Smiled some more. *Made out I could do things for friends/family then I avoided my phone if they called to arrange.
*Then the cooking, cleaning and laundry for x6. *The kids’ homework, helping/doing, same difference!
Too many to list, but you get where I’m coming from?! You have your own things you feel you have to do after all!
Learn to slow down
Putting pressure on ourselves and people pleasing just adds and adds to our stack of already un-dealt with issues.
Don’t look at it as giving in! You’re just cutting things right back to the bare minimum, as a starting point to rebuild yourself and your life however you like.
Trying to meet the demands of our own expectations is a battle to surrender, we don’t need to win that one.
Learn to slow down and do things in your own time, & not by the expectations or rates of others.
It takes strength and courage to get through any day struggling with depression & anxiety.
Give yourself more credit, you are not faking this/these illness’ nor should you have to justify your existence.
Trying to define your self-worth is unwarranted. If you really want to change then you need to do something different, switch up how you do things.
Learn to value yourself
Work to develop a more accepting and balanced perspective of yourself.
Find an alternative way of talking with your thoughts, as you realise you are thinking negative thoughts literally say
‘NO NO NO, I’m not doing that anymore’ ...
... and move the thought straight on its way.
Learn to understand your own vicious cycles and what your triggers are. Get a diary and keep track, who doesn’t need a reason to buy a notepad, pens, cute accessories and of course somewhere to keep it all!!!
Keep yourself focused/active on something, what do you absolutely love to do?
This could be where you learn something new like yoga, crafting, whatever-ing really if it keeps your interest.
Work with what you have and build what you want. Life doesn't just sort itself (like I thought), you actually have to sort it!
I can't say was all that happy about it either but it's quite refreshing, after awhile arghhh haha!
Go for it & do it for 'You'.
Email me if you're feelin it.
Self destructive behaviour
It’s amazing that we have access to so many possibilities, resources, awareness & fun, yet end up feeling so low that we don't even realise the effects our self-destructive behaviour is having on us, our family, whoever?!
I will tell you here how to stop self-destructive behaviour... Don't worry the results kick in pretty soon if you focus, it's sticking to it that's the problem! NO, not the problem, Challenge, I mean that's the challenge! Ya get it?
Who am I?
Is this it? I'm a terrible mom! A pretty shitty wife! My daughter skills aren't up to much either! The house is a tip! I get so unreasonably angry? Why can't I just be happy? No-one listens! I can't do it! This life thing is bullshit!
Just a few of my own blah blah blah-nesses! ...Negative Negative Negative...
Why am I so negative?
Because we begin to believe what we tell ourselves, which loops & loops with self-destructive behaviour.
Being a mom has been way tougher than I expected but not because of the kids, because life just keeps on happening!
Yet it's the first part of that sentence that gets twisted & sticks. 'Tougher than expected' turns into 'The kids are a pain in the ass'!
NO, you're stressed to fuck and the kids take the flack for doing a kid thing!
There is always a deeper thought under the surface. Break it down and work it out...
Did you know that 'You' can get a grip on 'Your' thoughts? (Get the Thought Dumper to help you break your thoughts down).
Huh, I didn't! Serious! Down the helter-skelter, on to the log flume, through the lion pit. Ride after ride my mind was rattled, confused, tired and done!