Do you feel Anxious or Irritated?
Have headaches, Tight Chest or Strange breathing?
Are 'You' trapped in overwhelm and getting no-where?
This post is focused more on the 'I can't cope stress' rather than stress following a trauma. That's a whole other level!
Hello Stress head!
Coping with stress
Don't you just hate how stress takes you down... And fast... Learning about coping with stress has been quite challenging, although it does come more natural now.
What is stress
Stress is a reaction to a situation when we feel threatened or anxious. It can be extremely harmful Physically & Mentally if the Stress is on-going. So why do we add to this stress by thinking so negatively & over-react towards things? If you consciously listen to a conversation, others and our own, it becomes apparent quite quick at how natural negative talk comes flowing out.
Below is a Thought dumper, a great tool to use for coping with stress;
We all have patterns that are not helpful and we can get stuck in a mode of feeling edgy and angry. Stress interferes with our judgement, so we are less likely to make sensible decisions to fix what is going on realistically.
One of the Patterns I needed to change was how I was with my kids, constantly on high alert ready and raring to tell one or all of them off...
...For anything and everything really
Stressful situations examples
*Spillages *Being too loud *Trashing each room they stepped foot in *Running around inside *Slamming/Banging doors *Fighting each other *Winding up the dog *Winding up the cat *Interrupting *Farting * Burping *Breathing *Existing
...You know, please tell me you Know?!
So off I'd go...
Reacting to stress
*Shouting * Screaming *Slamming/Banging *Throwing things into the place that the item was meant to live-ish *Running each kid down *Moving the dog quite firmly with my foot if he dared to get in the way *Rushing around
...I would fall into a heap crying and apologizing for my-being!
When my hubba hit a rough patch, I watched as his stress levels hit a high and he began with the same negative patterns, it was right in front of me. His work and health issues had made him a right grump... And I rrrreeeeaaaalllllly didn't like how he was being with our kids.
Wow, "when did he become so intolerant of them!" I recognized the behaviours, being those of my own.
That Was It. No More.
I just couldn't handle my/our own shit...
Don't get me wrong I'm no expert, but since working so hard on learning & maintaining a positive mindset, It has definitely, honestly improved my stress levels.
...and I am totally working the husband (secretly haha shhh), encouraging him to Identify his emotions before over-reacting to pretty minor shit. Not sure if he knows what I'm doing but he's going along with me!
My therapy shines over us all haha, 'You' included.
How coping with Stress can lead to more awareness of 'Your' own true self.
If you hold on to Emotions they tend to explode later on -
Learn to recognise how your body reacts.
Feeling flushed - Tense - Racing heart - Staggered breathing - Irritable - Edgy - Angry
Identifing that I felt these emotions because, I only ever looked and saw the negatives, in everything.
My kids fucking something up, my husband moaning making situations spiral further down, phones bleeping and tinging, dogs taking it in turns to trip me up at every opportunity, questions from all angles = x4 kids + husband, that were too much effort to answer.
Do you have your priorities in the right order? Or, do you need to reassess how you split time between work, friends, and family?
Stress is so much a part of the modern-day world its time for 'You' to take control and to calm it down a little...
Relax - Breathe - Adjust your Posture - Think - Act
Over time you will start noticing a massive improvement.
You will begin to feel Calmer, Happier have Increased focus, Reduced Stress Levels, and Reduced Anxiety.
You'll probably /maybe/definitely relapse (I defo did and do), but don't let that knock you just, 'Let it go', 'Re-imagine' who you are aiming to be,
'Move forward' & your Stress will go shuffling off.
You can't rush recovery
Stop rushing through your life, doing doing doing all the time.
Try to delegate the smaller tasks, and if it doesn't get done then 'oh well its probs not going anywhere.'
My laundry pile is now more of an ever-changing piece of modern art! Just wash the smelly stuff first urghh sweaty football strip and socks gross...
You can do this
This can so so so 'Your' time to sort out your shit, it's eating you alive, but the only person that can do anything about your shit is 'YOU'. (This scares me too, but I'm learning).
Coping with stress questions...
How do you control your stress at the moment?
Do you get that feeling, of pure failure when you lose it?
Do you put too much pressure on yourself?
How do you regain control?
Ask yourself and write down anything that will help you work towards a plan.
Remember to get the 'Thought dumper' from up the page abit...
Feel free to contact me with any questions.
Here sharing what's actually working while on my own Journey through depression and anxiety in the hopes you realise;
'You' can so do this 'life thing'.
Don't be pulled in by the expectations of others too and you'll be off to a good start.
Hugs to you...
Love, Jorja x